Before You Ask AI, Ask Yourself One Question

If you're like me (and most of my friends), you've probably used ChatGPT (or another favorite AI chatbot) at some point this week.

Maybe it was to figure out how to adapt a recipe when you were missing a key ingredient. Maybe you asked how to get grass stains out of your child's favorite pants or used it to organize ideas for a family summer bucket list.

Artificial intelligence has quietly become part of everyday life for many parents. Some of that is for a very good reason. These tools can save time, reduce decision fatigue, and help tackle some of the mental load that comes with raising children (especially when you're surviving on interrupted sleep and wondering what day it is).

In a 2026 survey conducted by Lurie Children's Hospital, 81% of more than 1,000 U.S. parents reported using AI to help with parenting tasks, and nearly two-thirds said it helped reduce their mental load.

As parents, we're always looking for tools that make life a little easier. AI can absolutely be one of those tools. Like any tool, though, it also has limitations.

That's why before you type your next parenting question into ChatGPT, I think it's worth asking yourself one very important question first.

AI can be a helpful tool if you use it with discernment

Are You Looking for Information, Assessment, or Reassurance?

One thing I've noticed, both in conversations with other parents and in my own life, is that not every question we ask is actually looking for information.

Questions like these are mostly looking for information:

How long does breast milk last in the refrigerator?
What's the best way to remove a blowout stain?
How much protein is in Greek yogurt?
What's a fun rainy-day activity for a three-year-old in Stowe?

These are relatively objective questions, and AI can often provide a helpful starting point.

Information Isn't the Same as Assessment

One of the easiest traps to fall into with AI is forgetting how personal its responses can feel.

When you type a question into a chatbot, it responds conversationally. It remembers parts of your conversation and tailors its answers to what you've shared. It can feel surprisingly personal. But it isn't.

It isn't observing your baby latch during a feeding. It can't hear the catch in your voice and recognize that what sounds like a question about sleep is actually a parent who is completely overwhelmed. It’s not hands on feeling how your balance fumbles when you try to do a lunge.

That's the difference between information and assessment.

This is especially important during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, when so much of your care depends on observation. A lactation consultant watches your baby feed. A midwife notices subtle changes that don't fit neatly into a chatbot prompt. A pelvic floor physical therapist assesses how your body is healing as you move.

Their recommendations are based on their unique knowledge of you, your baby, and years of education, clinical experience, and hands-on care.

Mental Health In Particular Deserves Human Care

Pregnancy and the postpartum period can be vulnerable seasons in terms of your mental health. While AI may help you find educational resources or put words to what you're experiencing, it should never replace a qualified mental health professional when you're struggling.

Researchers are actively exploring ways AI may improve access to perinatal mental health resources, but the goal isn't to replace therapists or healthcare providers. A 2025 review published in NPJ Health Systems concluded that AI shows promise as a tool to support perinatal mental health care when used alongside—not instead of—human clinicians.

A therapist notices patterns over time. They ask follow-up questions. They screen for conditions like postpartum depression or anxiety. They challenge unhelpful thought patterns and help you build skills that fit your life and your family.

A chatbot can only respond to what you type. It can't recognize the underlying thoughts you aren't sharing or gently challenge beliefs that may not be serving you.

If you're feeling persistently anxious, overwhelmed, hopeless, or unlike yourself during pregnancy or after your baby is born, reaching out to a healthcare provider is one of the most important things you can do.

AI can feel surprisingly human at times…

A Great Use for AI? Reducing the Mental Load

This isn't to say AI doesn't have a place in parenting. It can be a great tool for reducing the mental load and building upon professional care.

For example, Registered Dietitian and Nutritionist Emily Piazza often recommends using AI to make meal planning easier.

Instead of spending an hour searching recipes, she suggests giving AI a list of ingredients you already have, your family's food preferences, allergies, nutrition goals, and how much time you want to spend cooking. It can generate ideas, suggest recipes, and help reduce the daily mental load of figuring out what to make for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

"I recommend starting with a qualified provider who can assess your individual situation and create a plan that's right for you," Emily says. "Then use AI to help you put those recommendations into practice in ways that work for your real life."

It's a great example of AI working alongside professional care rather than replacing it.

When What You Really Want Is Reassurance

One statistic from the Lurie Children's survey really stuck with me. Nearly one-third of parents said they had followed AI's advice over their own instincts at least once, and half said they always double-check AI-generated parenting advice.

That's a remarkable shift in behavior in just a few years.

As a new mom, I remember struggling to trust my own instincts. (I’m thankful ChatGPT didn’t exist then to be honest; I already relied on Instagram enough for advice!) However, thankfully, I also really relied on my friends.

A couple had babies around the same time I did. Another few were a little farther ahead. It was the middle of the pandemic, and while we weren't seeing each other much in person, our texts became my lifeline.

Looking back, I often wasn't really looking for advice. I was looking for reassurance. Over time, those conversations didn't replace my instincts. They helped me build them.

Parenting has always been relational. Trusting yourself as a parent happens in relationship with people who know us, ask follow-up questions, celebrate our wins, notice when something doesn't sound right, and remind us that we're not alone.

This is where AI fails every time in my opinion.

Next Time You Want to Ask AI…

I am not anti AI. In fact, I use it often for work and personally. Used thoughtfully, it can absolutely make certain parts of life easier.

But before you type your next question into ChatGPT, I invite you to pause for a moment and ask yourself: am I looking for information, assessment, or reassurance?

If you're looking for information, AI may be a great place to start. If you're looking for assessment, a trained professional is likely the better choice. And, if you're looking for reassurance, that's often your cue to reach out to another person.

AI can be a helpful tool, but it isn't your village. The Vermont Birth Networkcan help connect you with local professionals who provide the kind of individualized care, support, and reassurance that no chatbot can replace.

Author: Tricia Cunniff is a Vermont freelance marketing professional and mom of two.

Sources

Cunningham, K., Mărginean, V., & Hylock, R. (2025). Navigating Promise and Perils: Applying Artificial Intelligence to the Perinatal Mental Health Care Cascade.NPJ Health Systems.
Lurie Children's. (2026). AI and Parenting: Statistics on Usage, Benefits & Concerns.